Tuesday, March 22, 2005


Reasons the NCAA tournament has me pining for the NBA playoffs:

  • It is the best basketball in the world played by the best players in the world.
  • Give me EJ, Kenny, and Chuck over ESPNtalkinghead, DickieV, and Digger any day. Steve Lavin is very good though.
  • Come on, all the big talent skip college, and the marginal talent would if they could.
  • Have you watched the tournament lately? The basketball is just poor. Say what you will about the lack of quality shooting in the NBA, but man I saw some ugly stuff this weekend. Exciting yes, but u-g-l-y.
  • The gushing over college coaches. I just don't like the idea of having them as the stars, especially when they are glorified used car salesmen. To loosely paraphrase Bill Simmons, any profession where Tim Floyd is considered quality can't be that impressive.
  • I hate scrappy underdogs. Get off the court and stop spoiling my bracket.
  • A seven-game series builds up so much tension and allows for so much strategy that in a close one you cannot top the excitement. I would take a couple weeks of Kings-Lakers in 2001 over 2.1 seconds of Christian Laettner.
  • "Let's get it started!". Just kidding, I'm sick of that song too.
  • Sure the NBA's schedule spreads out the playoffs so it lasts about 7 months, but at least you get to see all the games on TV.
  • I don't want to see Mike Wilkinson's girlfriend 20 times a game, let alone his mom too.
  • You cannot call a timeout when you're jumping out of bounds because you do not have possession of the ball when you're out of bounds.
  • The possession arrow is stupid too. Even Vitale wonders about that one.
  • Cinderella, Big Dance, Dancing, Slipper....I get it, cute.
  • Face it, once your bracket's toast you stop caring about who wins anymore, unless it is to root for others' brackets to blow up as well. Or to root against Duke.
  • Speaking of Duke, that AmEx ad with Coach (not a coach, a leader) K makes me vomit in my mouth. And why does he sign his credit card "Coach K"? 
  • Seeing the Women's tourney scores. Stop confusing me sportsticker, relegate that stuff  to the 5 or so fans not watching the Ellen Degeneres show at that moment. (that's right, I am not above making a tasteless lesbian joke)
  • Arguing over seeds and crying over who didn't make the tourney, and then seeing those 'snubs' get beat in the first round of the NIT in front of 300 people. That's right I'm talking about you, the suckfest formerly known as Notre Dame.
  • Both playoffs feature Kevin Harlan, so that's a push.
  • Man do I hate Bobby Knight. I would just love for him to coach the Trailblazers for a week, his antics would have him in the hospital with about 15 sets of handprints around his neck.
  • Automatic bid for the LittleSistersofThePoor conference. Have fun playing North Carolina or Kansas and getting a beatdown. Er....against Kansas you have a shot...
  • A coach saying how much he loves his mid-major job and never admitting that a move to a power conference school for a power conference contract is actually kind of enticing.
  • The veiled shots at the NBA when talking about kids who stayed 4 years and are now enjoying the tourney experience. They neglect to mention that in the NBA you get to experience the Gold Club in Atlanta.
  • That 3-point line is I think only 12 feet from the basket. Jack Ingram can launch from there.
  • I would complain about CSI promos, but then again TNT uses highlights and splices them with movie trailers. Remember that one where Van Helsing got blocked by Dikembe Mutumbo and then Helsing subsequently shot him in the shin with a crossbow?
  • Billy Packer.
  • Ok so don't you feel a little guilty seeing these supposed 'students' play on national TV with millions of dollars changing hands from all sides with the name of an institution of higher learning placed across his chest?

Reasons why I (and America) still love the NCAA tournament, and justifiably so: